Remember the reading from a couple days ago from Romans 12?
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
–from Romans 12:18
Do you go out looking for an argument or are you looking for ways to solve the problem? Do you go out looking to pick a fight or are you going out to love on people? Are you looking to instigate a dispute or are you trying to understand?
There are so many things going on right now around us that you can find people on both sides. The ones that seem to make the news are tending to be the disruptive ones who are looking to have an argument, looking to create a dispute, and looking to pick a fight! I remember how hurt I felt when my grandfather died and how I went out to a local bar (where I normally danced and rank diet coke) but that night I went out in my suit I had been wearing for the funeral with the thought in my head that if someone tried to be funny and said “why you wearing a suit? going to a funeral or something?” that I would be able to just lay into them. Fortunately for me, God was protecting me as nobody said that all night. But there are people in this world who are out for a fight! They are looking to stir up trouble! They are trying to pull you into their trouble and chaos! And recently we have seen on TV how that has lead not only to fighting but to people getting killed. It’s wrong! It’s bad! It’s something that needs to be avoided as the innocent people tend to get in the crossfire between the opposing sides who are showing up to stir up trouble. The people who are peacefully protesting get overrun by the people who are just looking to stir up trouble and highjack the stage in order to have a reason to cause day, pain, and suffering. We need to stop and go back to the Romans 12 instructions and see how we can fight this evil!
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.
20 Instead,“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.–from Romans 12
So let’s consider today’s devotional which speaks to
How to Avoid Arguments, Deal with Disputes and Stop Fighting
We need to remember the wise words about the importance of unity and the troubles of having division within the house..
22 Then a demon-possessed man, who was blind and couldn’t speak, was brought to Jesus. He healed the man so that he could both speak and see. 23 The crowd was amazed and asked, “Could it be that Jesus is the Son of David, the Messiah?”
24 But when the Pharisees heard about the miracle, they said, “No wonder he can cast out demons. He gets his power from Satan,[a] the prince of demons.”
25 Jesus knew their thoughts and replied, “Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart.26 And if Satan is casting out Satan, he is divided and fighting against himself. His own kingdom will not survive. 27 And if I am empowered by Satan, what about your own exorcists? They cast out demons, too, so they will condemn you for what you have said. 28 But if I am casting out demons by the Spirit of God, then the Kingdom of God has arrived among you.
–from Matthew 12
Today’s devotional used the example of Brexit to speak on the topic as follows…
The 2016 referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU resulted in a 52-48 split in favour of leaving. The campaign was acrimonious, the nation was divided, and the main political parties soon descended into infighting and division. This is one example of what we see across the globe. Every news update seems to include stories of arguments, disputes and fighting.
When sin entered the world, arguments, disputes and fighting began. Adam blamed Eve. Cain murdered his brother. The history of the world ever since has been one of conflict of all kinds.
When people turn away from God, they start fighting one another. We see the breakdown of relationships wherever we look: broken marriages, broken homes, broken relationships at work, civil wars and wars between nations. Sadly, the church is not immune. Right from the start there have been arguments, disputes and in-fighting.
How should we handle conflict?
We need to turn back to God! We need to receive His wisdom! We need to make a choice on how we will respond! We can’t go without a plan because the devil is out to rob, kill, and destroy and will look for each and every crack to be able to stir up that trouble. He is looking to divide! He is looking to create dissension! He is looking to cause pain and suffering! So turn back to God! Before you go out – have a plan for how to deal with the troublemakers who are going to try and get into your mix! Ask God for wisdom how to be accomplish the goal! Ask God for wisdom on how to protect against the attacks of the devil! Be prayed up! Be read up on His Word! Be filled up with the Holy Spirit! Be prepared through prayer and fasting! And before you go out, put on the full armor of God!
So we need to be ready! Whatever relationships the devil is going to try and divide today, we need to be putting Jesus in the center and then stick together like a cord of three strands!
So let’s take some time today and go through our reading and devotional to be able to be prepared and know how best to handle the attacks of the devil and the conflicts that not just may but will come our way today…and understand which things are worth fighting to the death for! Is it a mountain you are willing to die on? Let’s reflect on what Paul teaches today too…
Day 212: Bible In One Year 2017 — How to Avoid Arguments, Deal with Disputes and Stop Fighting
Devotional, Proverbs 18:17-24, Proverbs 19:1-2, Romans 14:1-18, 1 Chronicles 9, 1 Chronicles 10
https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/3420-bible-in-one-year-2017/day/212
- Avoid arguments … Proverbs 18:17-19:2
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Proverbs is full of practical advice on how to avoid arguments.
Listen to both sides
There are usually two sides to an argument, and it is always worth hearing both parties. The right of cross-examination is an important one, with a vital place in any legal system. ‘The first speech in a court case is always convincing – until the cross-examination starts!’ (18:17, MSG).
Ask for the help of the Holy Spirit
We need God’s guidance especially when facing ‘tough decisions’ (v.18, MSG). In the Old Testament, ‘casting the lot’ was a way of settling disputes. However, with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit there are better ways of receiving God’s guidance over disputes (see 1 Corinthians 6:1–6).
Avoid unnecessary offence
Do everything you possibly can to avoid offending your brothers and sisters: ‘An offended relative is more unyielding than a fortified city’ (Proverbs 18:19). Serious disputes create barriers among friends. These walls are easy to erect and extremely hard to pull down.
Choose your words carefully
Your words can be a life-giving force, bring great satisfaction and heal division: ‘Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach; good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest’ (v.20, MSG).
Yet words can also be a destructive force: ‘Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose’ (v.21, MSG). You can do great good or great damage with what you say.
Choose your companions carefully
The writer says, ‘Find a good spouse, you find a good life – and even more: the favour of God!’ (v.22, MSG). It is certainly true in my experience that Pippa’s wisdom, advice and involvement have often helped me to avoid getting into trouble in this area. A good husband or wife can often be a peacemaker.
Whether we are married or not, what we need are really close friends. The second part of this proverb reminds us that while friends come and go, ‘There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister’ (v.24b). These are the sorts of friends we need in our lives. Ultimately, of course, Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister.
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- Deal with disputes … Romans 14:1-18
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This passage is so relevant to some of the disputes going on in the global church right now. If only the church in the last 2,000 years had followed Paul’s instructions. As John Stott writes, Paul’s purpose in these verses ‘was to enable conservative-minded Christians (mostly Jewish) and liberal-minded Christians (mainly Gentiles) to coexist amicably in the Christian fellowship.’
There are certain matters over which Paul was willing to fight to death – the truth of the gospel (that Christ died for us, vv.9,15). The life, death and resurrection of Jesus (v.9) and the Lordship of Christ (v.9) are examples of what is non-negotiable.
However, there are other things that are not nearly as important. They are ‘disputable matters’ (v.1). They are secondary areas. He gives various examples such as vegetarianism or thinking of one day as more sacred than another.
Today some Christians abstain from alcohol. Others do not. Some Christians are pacifists. Others are not. And there are many other issues where Christians are passionately divided about disputable matters. How do we deal with these disputes?
Welcome those with different views
He writes ‘accept’ (the word means ‘welcome’) those ‘whose faith is weak’ (v.1a). ‘Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do… Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God’ (vv.1,10, MSG).
Do not be quick to judge
‘Don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with’ (v.1b, MSG).
He goes on, ‘Who are you to judge someone else’s servants?’ (v.4); ‘You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister?’ (v.10); ‘Then let us no more criticise and blame and pass judgment on one another’ (v.13, AMP). We must allow people to have different views from our own without judging them for it.
This is the heart of the matter. Four times in this passage Paul says we are not to judge one another.
Don’t look down on others
We ‘must not look down on’ (v.3a) those who have different views from our own. God has welcomed them (v.3b). So should we.
Do what you think is right
On all these secondary matters ‘everybody should be fully convinced in their own minds’ (v.5). ‘Each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience’ (v.5, MSG). ‘If you eat meat… thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian… thank God for broccoli’ (v.6, MSG). Just because we may agree to disagree on these matters does not make them irrelevant. We need to be careful to do what we think is right in every situation.
Assume the best about other people’s motives
‘Those who regard one day as special, do so to the Lord. Those who eat meat, eat to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and those who abstain, do so to the Lord and give thanks to God’ (v.6).
Give others the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are seeking to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord (vv.7–8).
Be sensitive about other people’s consciences
Paul says, ‘Make up your mind not to put any stumbling-block or obstacle in another believer’s way’ (v.13). For example, if someone regards drinking alcohol as wrong, it would be insensitive to drink alcohol in front of them. We do not want to cause them distress (v.15).
Help and encourage one another
‘So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault’ (v.19, MSG).
Always act in love
‘If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love’ (v.15). ‘So be sensitive and courteous… Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love’ (v.21, MSG).
Disputable matters are important, but not as important as what unites us all: ‘For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit’ (v.17). This is what really matters. Let us not get caught up in arguments about disputable matters, which divide the church and put off those outside the church.
Follow the words of the medieval writer Rupertus Meldenius: ‘On the essentials, unity; on the non-essentials, freedom; in everything, love.’
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- Stop fighting … 1 Chronicles 9:1b-10:14
So as we go out today, let’s take hold of the truth of God! Let’s meditate on the words from John 17 which say…
23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. –from John 17:23
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